THERAPY FOR PEOPLE-PLEASERS IN NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE
You are always “fine”… until you aren’t.
You’re the one who says yes, avoids conflict, keeps the peace, and rarely asks for much—until being “easygoing” leaves you feeling overwhelmed, resentful, or disconnected from yourself. Together, we can practice boundary-setting, help you reconnect with your authenticity, build self-trust, and make room for your own wants and needs.
Does this sound familiar?
MAYBE YOU…
You say ‘yes’ even when you want to say ‘no’
You feel guilty when you prioritize yourself or disappoint someone
You over-explain your reasoning for even the simple choices you make
You apologize for every little thing, even if you’re not at fault
You ruminate on past conversations
You aren’t quite sure what it is you actually want or need
You feel responsible for other people’s emotions
You avoid setting boundaries and suppress your own emotions to keep the peace
You feel other people’s emotions very deeply
You pay close attention to shifts in body language or tone to monitor how someone may feel about you
You feel uncomfortable when someone does not like you
You have a hard time trusting yourself and your intuition
You feel invisible, drained, and resentful from the people-pleasing cycle & self-neglect
People-Pleasing ≠ Kindness
On the outside, you are helpful, thoughtful, kind, and dependable. You check in on your friends, make sure things are taken care of, pick up the slack, and otherwise make sure everything and everyone is okay. On the inside, though, you feel anxious, exhausted, and maybe even resentment from everything you’ve been doing for others.
I have something to tell you: those behaviors are rooted in fear, not love.
Kindness allows space for your feelings & needs, and the feelings & needs of others, too. Kindness says “You matter, and so do I.” Somewhere along the way, you learned to prioritize others’ needs above your own. However, you might be finding that living your life dictated by fear is no longer working for you.
Not only does the message “my needs don’t matter” become reinforced, you also begin to lose touch with who you are. You might find yourself unable to answer the question “What do I need right now?” You may not have hobbies that you do purely for yourself and your enjoyment. You might struggle to identify what it is you like, or what you want for yourself. Any decision you’re faced with can feel daunting. Feelings of resentment, anxiety, and guilt may begin to surface. You might also feel completely drained from it all.
This doesn’t happen overnight.
In therapy, we’ll explore these patterns and understand how they developed over time.
THE HIDDEN COST
What happens when you’re constantly putting yourself last?
WHY IS IT SO HARD TO STOP?
Keeping the peace feels safer than speaking up
You didn’t wake up one day and decide, “You know what? I’m going to completely ignore myself moving forward. Sounds fun.” Chances are you recognize some of these patterns and you dream of life where you can take care of yourself without guilt or tell someone ‘no’ without being so deeply worried about how they feel about you.
You may have learned that keeping the peace, avoiding conflict, and minimizing yourself was actually helpful - it kept you safe. It helped you to feel more connected to your caregivers. You might’ve even been praised for being so easygoing. People-pleasing worked for you. Not anymore.
It takes time to teach our nervous system that we are safe to speak up. I’m not going to lie - it is uncomfortable work.
And it is so worth it.
The fear & discomfort that comes with boundaries & self-care
It is so normal to worry about what will happen after you set boundaries. Part of our work together will be helping you to sit with the discomfort and uncertainty that comes from setting boundaries with others, speaking up, and putting yourself first sometimes. With each experience, you learn more and more that it is okay to take care of yourself, let someone down, or feel anxiety when things are uncertain. The goal isn’t to get rid of your anxiety; instead, the goal is to help you manage your entire emotional experience and show yourself some compassion along the way.
You are a fully-feeling human being with needs that deserve to be met with compassion.
